


And you transform into a picture Inside of me (Covering my white and tired walls)

by Neuma



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Depression, I don't even know how to tag this, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 20:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4450289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neuma/pseuds/Neuma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I... I don't really know why I'm calling you. I don't even think you kept this number, but I need to talk to somebody. And in some way I miss your voice."</p>
            </blockquote>





	And you transform into a picture Inside of me (Covering my white and tired walls)

**Author's Note:**

> Since last nights Teen wolf decided to rip my heart out and shred it to pieces I decided to write this.  
> All mistakes are my own (And I need a beta, anyone?).

"I... I don't really know why I'm calling you. I don't even think you kept this number, but I need to talk to somebody. And in some way I miss your voice. I killed someone, Derek, and I haven't told anyone about it. Can you imagine it? How Scott would react? It was self defense, but does it change anything? He attacked me while I was trying to fix the Jeep. I know what you'll think. You've said a thousand times that I should get rid of it, but I can't. You know I can't. He attacked me, there was some kind of sucker, like a mouth on his hand that bit my shoulder. I ran to the school and he followed me until we were in the library. It happened so fast that I couldn't explain it. One minute I was climbing the shelves, trying to get away and in the next there's a iron bar through his body. And I held it, Derek, I held it so he couldn't escape. I saw the life leaving his eyes. I watched as his last breath left his lungs... There's this new guy and I can tell you he's no good, but does Scott listen to me? Now he has proven me that I was right. He killed someone in front of me and blackmailed me to not tell Scott about it.

 

I'm losing control, I'm drowning and there's no one to help me.

 

We are fighting against this Dread Doctors and Dr. Valack wrote a book about them. In theory reading the book would make you remember seeing them but that's not what happend." Stiles takes a deep breath, a new stream of tears running down his face. "Today I saw my mom. There isn't much I can say about it. I mean, it's not like I needed to see her again to remind me that I poison everything around me. I remembered her standing close to the edge, on the hospital. I saw my dad trying to convince her that I wasn't trying to kill her. But what if I did? I could have helped her so much more, Derek. I could've stayed home. I saw how much me being in the hospital hurt her, but I kept going back. I kept trying to hold her hand. Would she have lived longer had I stayed away?"

Stiles takes a deep breath. The cold night air hits his face and he thinks about all the times he and Derek sat on this balcony after everything went to shit and they had to take care of some loose end Scott left hanging. He could feel the tears still running down his face. "I'm at the loft. Sitting on the balcony and looking at the stars. I just can't seem to stop shaking, my shoulder hurts and i just want this all to stop. You're the only sane person I know. Leaving this fucking city was the best thing you could do. I've always told you you should leave. I just wish you hadn't left me here." In the horizon the sky starts to lighten, the sun giving it's first signs of light. "But if I'd gone with you I would probably ruin everything. I feel so alone, Derek, I can't stand it anymore." Stiles goes back inside and sits in the bed. "I think I'll stay here for a bit. Nobody would think about searching for me in here. Thank you for leaving me the key, by the way. I'll try to get some sleep now..."

 

Stiles lays on the bed, his hand tight on the pillow and his eyes looking at the sky. He doesn't feel his eyes slowly closing. His dreams are a mixture of all the shit that's been going on. He can see Derek's body on the ground in Mexico. The Dread Doctors. He feels trapped inside his body again while the nogitsune puts a sword through Scott. Malia's hands touch his body, fingertips leaving a trail of goosebumps on his skin. He feels the excitement of his first time and the regret. Lydia is on the floor, her stomach bleeding. He sees blood, too much blood. Everything goes dark and he sees his mom. She's screaming at him, her hands hard against his body as she hits him, accusing him of wanting to kill her.

 

"Stiles? Wake up. Wake up, Stiles!" In his dreams, Stiles screams that he doesn't want to kill his mom, he begs his father to help him, to explain to her that he just wants her to get better, he just wants his mommy to get better and go home and love him again. "Please, Stiles, please wake up. It's just a dream, come back! Wake up."

 

The voice in his head keeps begging him to wake up but he can't, he can't leave his mom again, he has to make her understand that he doesn't want to kill her. He HAS to make her understand that he loves her, the he just wants her to be okay, to be happy again. He feels something moving him, but his feet are still on the ground and he doesn't get how he can be moving.

 

The voice stops begging and starts to sing, the melody starts to take over Stiles, his body relaxing and everything around him starts to get a hazy glow, then it all fades leaving him to a blissful darkness.

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

Stiles’ body relaxes against Derek’s. Derek stops singing and looks at him, waiting for something, a sign that Stiles was waking up. “Don’t stop singing, please don’t stop. It keeps the dark away”. Derek doesn’t even blink before going back to singing.

 

_Viveme sin miedo ahora_

_Que sea una vida o sea una hora_

_No me dejes libre aquí desnudo_

_Mi nuevo espacio que ahora es tu, yo te ruego_

_Viveme sin más vergüenza_

_Aunque este todo el mundo en contra_

_Deja la apariencia y toma el sentido_

_Y siente lo que llevo dentro_

_Y te transformas en un cuadro_

_Dentro de mí_

_Que cubre mis paredes blancas y cansadas_

Stiles moves, so his body can get closer to Derek’s. His hand touches skin and his nose fills with a smell that is nothing but Derek. A mixture of leather, woods and something special. Without opening his eyes Stiles cuddles more to Derek, trying to soak on his smell, his heat. “You have a nice voice…” His voice sounds hoarse to his ears “What’s the song you were singing?”

 

Derek rubs his cheek against Stiles head before responding. “It’s a Laura Pausini song. Laura loved spanish music and always found amusing how the two had the same name. This was the only song I actually learned how to sing.”

 

“What is it about?”

 

“It’s about being with someone. Falling in love together and facing against the world. It’s about following the one you love and being followed by them.” Stiles opens his eyes, finally feeling brave enough to do so. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Like shit. Fuck, I hate nightmares” Moving a bit, without losing contact to Derek, Stiles got more comfortable finally noticing that he was only touching skin. “Erm. Derek? Why are you naked?”

 

Derek’s cheeks flush, and Stiles take a second to notice that the flush goes down Derek’s body. “When I heard you message I went a bit crazy. I changed into the wolf and ran here. Didn’t even think about clothes.”

 

“Thank you, Derek, thank you for coming back.” Derek hugs Stiles harder, his breath against Stiles ear.

 

“I’ll always come back for you”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't think it would be this sad, but it was like my muse had a life of it's own. What can you do?  
> The song is Viveme by Lura Pausini.  
> Please comment? Comments feed my dying soul (just be gentle with any erros, english isn't my first language)!  
> XXX


End file.
